i'm sick of doing the best i can
because it isn't ever enough
if I can't be good,
what's the point of being here at all?

I never sleep well anymore
even though I tell the doctors I sleep fine
I just stare at the ceiling
and live through the lives of others

sit in class with an ache behind my eyes
I can't even tell if the pain is real
excedrin can only do so much
and I think my tolerance is building up

I constantly feel a lump in my throat
is it acid reflux or psychosomatic?
i can't tell
and I'm too scared to go to the doctor

my family says its my anxiety
but there's no easy fix for that
so I'll just secretly hope I have some curable disease
and that one day they'll finally believe me