Sun in my eyes 

Warmth on my face 

It’s a surprisingly warm day for March

I’m on the beach at Clacton 

Mum is on a cruise around the Med with Aunty Jan

They are on the top deck 

sipping Malibu and coke 

Topping up their tan 

Sun in their eyes 

That’s what I tell myself

 

Everytime I get the sun in my eyes

I think of Mum

 

From that photo of her

before she had me

taken on a boat

out at sea 

Sun in her face 

Basking in its rays 

Long hair 

blowing in the wind 

 

To the memory of 

us both sunbathing 

in her garden 

and then the memory of

pushing her in a wheelchair

around the hospital garden 

and parking it in the sun

to both eat ice cream

 

She messaged me soon after from her laptop on her kitchen table: 

 

‘A nurse did an ECG and weighed me and then I saw Dr - very pleased with me

He said I woudn't have to have ECG tomorrow at our Drs as just had it done today.  So a free day and dad can do the garden.  Can't wait to sit out there again and have a Magnum at 3.’

 

A memory that was never meant to be

 

Everytime the sun is now in my eyes 

and though  Mum is on a cruise 

with Aunty Jan, 

she is with me 

and still with me 

when clouds block the sun

and when there is no sun 

That’s what I remind myself 

whilst eating a Magnum

when I can at 3

so that memory and new memories 

can be made.