Through my forever chaotic and turbulent life

Everyday on this earth  I've had to face never ending turmoil and strife 
To maintain positivity my god I have to fight
Bullied and beaten at school for being blind and wonky eyed
Then Manipulated in my teens by elders who I was blind to not see were not on my side
Continously searching to find someone to accept my heart and mind
Even as an adult of 28
Always skint unaccounted for and denied
Even after containing all this pain by scars caused by others I push push and to not subside
Stoop to their behaviour i'll continue to be nice
No apology will ever come
From those who've  hurt with no acknowledgement what they've done
Im Rejected by my mum
She's convinced her herself that I'm nothing but scum
Rejected by my dad
Met him for the first time in 2017 best time I've ever had
But he couldn't maintain the relationship distances himself from me which makes me sad
I get Rejected by my so called friends
No matter what I do no matter the length
Get Rejected constantly by women
They never get the chance to see that I'm consistently caring and giving
I can't figure it out it is it their internal judgment that prevents them from trying
All I long for is comfort  love and safety in this jeoulous competitive existence 
I said in my last poem rejection can be  protection
But one can only endure so much
Before crumbling into bitter resentment
What more must I do for people to get a slight spec of affection 
Keep taking the blows I suppose
Keep fighting the forces of evil with kindness and an open perception 
Fight back with love and without judgment and embrace all imperfections
I know who I am I know I'm not I've come to terms with my own inner  acceptance
And hopefully one day before im old and gray  someone anyone will come along with a hug to take all that pain away
Until then  never surrender
Keep pushing through hurdles and maybe one day I might feel I'm not everyone's peasant