Bored in Cafe Nero 
Music was so damn drearo
Male candy, nada, zero 
But what pricked up my earo
My eyes then towards veero
Beard razored Richard Gereo
Short hair, had fight with shearo 
Beard sat beneath a Miro
with book by Gerrmaine Greero
Japan man named Akiro
Served salad cav’lo nero
Then two lads they appearo 
I knew they gay, both queero 
Kissing whilst here in Nero  
Thought how things changed round hero 
From when I lived in fearo 
In this town yesteryearo
Folk maybe now see clearo 
But memory don’t disappearo
Remember this old dearo  
I think her name was Vero
She gave me quite a sneero 
Me peering at the rearo 
on Natwest bank cashiero 
I’d be imagineero 
Swing him from chandeliero 
Room Inn Hotel Premiero!
If cashier now were hereo, 
I’d ask him ‘Fancy beero? ‘
If not gay,  cry no tearo 
I’d say ‘Okay,’ then ‘cheero’