You know those

dreams where you

do the unthinkable,

where you stand

on your head,

do something unimaginable

because you know

you are dreaming?

It’s almost like

you are awake

when you’re asleep.

I love those

moments when something

totally unbelievable happens,

the penny drops

and you know

you are dreaming.

Knowing your dreaming,

as psychopathologists claim,

is lucid dreaming.

 

I am awake

sitting at work

at my desk

daydreaming the unimaginable.

I’m a millionaire

poet who everyone

knows his name.

I live in

a Chelsea penthouse

perfectly content with

Alex and dog(s).

Travelling the world,

wherever we go,

me and Alex

are holding hands,

free from judgment.

For many still,

that remains what

Heaven is like.

Only being themselves,

whilst they’re asleep.

 

I am asleep,

I must be.

People saying ‘Sorry

for your loss.

Your Mum was

a wonderful woman’

only confirms how

I know that

I am dreaming.

I’m gonna stand

on my head,

no clothes on,

and for once,

without any consequence,

say what the

hell I like.

 

I expect to

wake up but

this dream just

keeps on going.

I keep forcing

myself to awaken

but without success.

Apart from the

ongoing narrative that,

ridiculous I know,

Mum has died,

this dream is

really rather normal.

Renting a flat

nowhere near Chelsea,

Still what my

friend calls me,

‘respectable working class’.

I’m no millionaire

poet everyone knows.

 

You, the reader,

you are asleep.

You are dreaming,

you must be.

Maybe you can

help me awaken?

Pinch my bum.

Swear at me.

Take your clothes

off and run

down the road

yelling something you’d

never dare say

when you’re awake.

Prove to me

we’re both dreaming!

 

I hear you

mutter something softly.

What is that?.

Why can’t you

pinch my bum?

Run stark naked

down the road

yelling what the

hell you like?

You’re such a

stick in the

mud when awake.

Do the unthinkable

whilst you’re asleep,

you’re only dreaming!

 

Hear you mutter

‘We’re both awake’.

The penny drops.

Alarm goes off.

I am awake.

I have, we

have, been awake

all this time.

Awake all along.

Messages of condolence,

not been fairytale.

Can’t force myself

to suddenly awaken.

No lucid dream.

 

I have been

living close to

my idea of

what I believe

Hell is like.

I can only

be myself now

whilst I’m asleep.

Back to bed.

Don’t awaken me.

I’d rather not

live the unimaginable

any time soon.