so it took me a lot to write tonight.
for some reason every night i havent
been able to bring myself to it.

i think its because im afraid of whats
going to be written.

 

 

that the past few days have
been a lot to take in.

that your heart should never
know what it feels to be broken.

that actions do matter,
and words arent shit.

that regardless of how much you give,
when given to the wrong person
it will never matter.

that it may feel good to get compliments
from others, but even better
from yourself.

that you shouldnt go back,
dear god, dont go back.

that erasing their existence doesnt
necessarily erase them,
but it also doesnt hurt.

that your feeling of wanting to 
be wanted is valid.

that reciprocation should go
both ways.

 

 

i figured it would just pour out of me.
the words flow so easily
because the memories of time
wasted keep playing.

and the sounds of nothing,
sound like the loudest sirens
ive ever heard.

im done because i deserve better,
and i dont want to feel guilty for it.

especially knowing that my presence
didnt matter to them anyway.
so im sure my absence will be no different.