A two grand hat made out of bears
Is what the British foot guard wears
It’s stupid, cruel, just not funny
And a massive waste of money

While Rachel says we can’t afford
For winter fuel to be restored
And Auntie freezes in her flat
The guardsman wears a two grand hat

A two grand hat made out of bears
Hunted, shot and trapped in snares
Stupid, cruel and just not funny
And makes guards faint when it gets sunny