Smile!
You got chilli sauce on your face
Smile!, you like to embrace
a bit o donnas meat and chips
and easy on the hips
yeah baby, donner meat!
Sliced tomato fell on your feet
You trod it in drunk
Bad kebab
went and sunk
9 pints of lager
Head butted a tree trunk
 danced a funk
and topped it off with a bad kebab

what a night

Chemical Alis in the meat-house
carving up the wood-louse
ready for the lager louts
he found out back
and tanked up terry supports the union city blues
toilet paper stuck on his shoes
and blurry vision twos
great difficulty to choose
confusing fluorescent lit
menus that fuse
the flavours of Saturday night mug shots
teetering tots on heels
or middle age beer belly thrombosis
keels over pissed

and that’s just terry

he grisp it between two bits of fingers
prefers it two spicy chicken zingers
and we all dribble and drool
for our bad kebab
sliced onions popping out
the Pittas soggy pout
is worse than the kiss of death
the garlic Mayo is on the breath
and mini skirt girl dough protest
you smell of bad kebab
your poor insides
your gut transit rehab
is about to set in
wipe that drunken grin!
theres a lettuce leaf on your chin

bad kebab
for the
chiselled chunk a meaty hunk monk
the pissed up smack don’t hurt
bad kebabs all down your shirt
a walking Jackson Pollock
A clammy clam and mollusc
Sweating pours, you open up
the jaws of ravenous hunger
2.48 am but bad kebab
is lovely stuff
as you swing a fist
a pitta bread list
a Saturday sixties twist and shout
your half cocked wrists the beer has made you lame
but you bash the students all the same
in the stupid name of bad kebab
play the game
que for it
pay for it
stagger for it
blag her for it
spare change

bad kebab

can of coke
and bad kebab
and don’t forget the salad
easy on the 'please me'
juciy meat I love a bit of it
Its diced up mixed up and shish
It’s arty and pastiche Cuz your leathered
and everything is beer goggled
your good taste has toggled
to bad kebab


Pete Crompton 27th April 2008 4.18am