I wish I had permission to- a poem.about motherhood

1I wish I had permission to, 

Make a cuppa, make a brew.

Have a shower, wash my hair.

Shave my legs, have time to care!

I wish I had permission to....

But as it stands, I'm holding you.

 

I wish I had permission to,

Put my face on, look anew.

Pluck my eyebrows, and my chin!

Like my body, let go of THIN.

I wish I had permission to....

But as it stands, I'm holding you.

 

I wish I had permission to,

Arrive on time, not overdue,

Look put together and travel light,

Chitter chatter, dance all night!

I wish I had permission to....

But as it stands, I'm holding you.

 

I wish I had permission to,

Pick a hobby to persue,

Loose myslef to hyperfocus,

Detached from time and no one notice.

I wish I had permission to....

But as it stands, I'm holding you.

 

I wish I had permission to,

Go to bed, sleep right through.

Wake up slow, no racing thoughts,

Coffee hot, no bum-change sports!

I wish I had permission to...

But as it stands, I'm holding you.

 

I wish I had permission to,

Go back in time and savour you.

Drink cold tea, smell of BO,

Gaze at every tiny toe.

I wish I had permission to,

Just stop, and breath and cuddle you.

My hairy chin, my dark eye circles,

Celebrate your milestone hurdles, 

I wish I had permission to,

Ignore the chaos and savour you.

Embrace the fact I will be late, 

For squidgy cuddles I wouldn't break,

I wish I had permission to,

Let go of perfect, be flawed with you.

No hobbies or creative flare,

Just holding hands, and stroking hair,

I wish I had permission to,

Go easy on myself for you.

Sleep deprived, eyes out on stalks, 

Mimicking your babble talk.

 

I wish I had permission to, 

The truth is that in fact I do,

I chose instead to be with you.

So here I stand, I'm holding you.