Bogof

 

     I have not been to Earth for nigh on three decades now,

   out here only the renegades prosper while I am

      nothing but a toy for curiosity’s sake,

        inter-stellar has always been there but,

  too long I took to understand the dopple -

       and double trouble and their persistent game of psychology.

 

     I am so tired now, even the self soothing tones

do not make the pain and fatigue any wiser,

                any, kinder,

    for like a lab technicians morbid fascination -

human enquiry will still not reveal to they,

       my intellectual compassion,

               soul spirit and love,

 

                               ‘for it is only myth!’

 

     To love?

        To love again beside the pain,

  to home a thought that ‘she’s for real and me too,’

           seems nothing but laborious values of stale sentiments for,

                it is not allowed here where even Logan

                        would give up a roam of natures remnants,

                           head back down to join Si for retirement process.

 

                  I don’t think I could even gain a quickening if I behead myself for,

                        it is not – there can be only one but,

                                      ya buy one ya get one free!

 

2.

 

     But how, what is money worth here where Tom

would have a field day with everything fake and the other

   Tom wants to fuck off good and proper and not even

             tell ground control.

 

     Is ‘wit’ the last sentiment?

         And not cancerous but given like the very very, very last med pack

              upon a voluminous casualty housing five decades of disbelief as,

                   they call this life while telling you to plan for death

                           straight outta school, or compton cider???

 

     I think I will self actualize with vomit,

         the day is yet young and my broken mind

               needs ‘that’ acidic taste to conjure

                       I still remain, I still breathe

                                    and reign dominion over all…………..

 

                    ……...what is it that I now see?

      Only a penniless blinder of a guy

             with a shiner for lab rat poking where

                       the blood spat has taken all but the scabs.

 

3.

 

                        I ain’t just blind mute and deafened now,

                           I have no more tears and only a

                                perplexing numbness that denies a pulse,

                                       where is it I go?

                                                 Where frowns the future and even…………

                                                              …………..what is………..future?

 

Michael J Waite 13th December 2024.