I was hungry feeling whack

Drunk a few with James and Jack

Got last  train departing at

midnight but the driver slack

 

Did he go off for a snack?

Having piss around the back

whilst he doing line of crack?

Maybe likes a little smack

 

On my train, got on my track

6ft Santa, sexy black

in his costume with his sack

Lets just say he had no lack

 

Ooh la Jean, oh, ooh la Jacques

Stripping Santa had the knack

Quicker than an acrobat

showing off his apparat

 

A midnight feast, don’t need Big Mac

or a Burger King at that

when Santa came to where I sat

and got me on me jim and jack!