You threw your cards on the table

Swore Yea, I’m real

Only real people ever say that so I know it to be true

 

Real and true

until it wasn’t

 

Can i whisper the quiet truths here, since i know your reading attention is elsewhere and not on me now?

 

I liked your darkness,

recognized it,

                  it did not scare me,

                                  made me feel safe; known in fact

Sure, it’ll outlast me

but so will mine

 

You and me, we would’ve outlasted all the dark

                                  because we would've 

                                                      Shone

                                                      So

                                                      Bright

 

If I could give myself what you gave me for I was so so joyful then

Today the sunset on the sea was spectacular so I was walking backward

     and I thought of your song

 

There is no way to give that to myself

That depth of perception

 

Wishing love for me; how i weep                                              for you are my love, you

                                        how could you wish that for me

 

The ocean answers my question; what is miraculous here is the extreme tenderness of a heart

Anything he loves will shine, it is all sourced in him; radiates from him, of course it does

Remember how gently he saved her from that boat; his sweet medicinal way; the magic musicality of his voice

 

I was lucky enough

to be in that blindingly bright sight light

for a short many moons

 

I grew and blossomed but I did not bloom, 

for he never touched me 

                  but

                                    in my heart

How i dreamed often and vividly  he would lie with me; how he would lie with me; how it would start slow silent, how senses might overload so it might have to

He did not, never did, never did