Jasus it’s Christmas time, when the Saviour cometh, the reindeer sparkle, and Prince Harry appears with a photo of our late Queen,
who glares at his bride, Miss Markle.

Meanwhile millionaire footballers warm up for their match at Chelsea, looking down on their near neighbour, Fulham FC,
while just along the Thames, a busker sings, ‘Buddy, can you spare a dime?’

A football fan walks by and asks, ‘Didn’t you play for Man U, or City?’

‘Maybe’, he answered and strummed his guitar
to the tune of The Beatles’ Yesterday. 

‘Football was the stuff of my childhood dreams,
but the reality - let’s not go there.

‘I did well, until the fans turned against me.’

Then his former manager strolled along the embankment, not even noticing the dishevelled man, who shouted, ‘Boss, it’s me, Seamus, your former centre forward.’

‘Oh,’ he scratched his head.

‘Is it Seamus? Nice to see you, I’ve run away too,
to become a football pundit, and bought a London
mansion with the proceeds, it’s got 20 bedrooms.

Stan’s face lit up, at the prospect of a warm bed,
and eagerly asked, ‘Where is it?’

‘Just upstream at Barnes.
Come and stay, you can kip in the stable.’

The former player’s face fell, and he blurted,
‘What, with the horses? Oh Jesus!’

‘Oh yes, he’s there, another the fans got tired of.

He’s a funny-looking chap, with that long beard.’

Then he looked at him closely,
and remarked, ‘You too could be twins.

‘Wait a minute, didn’t I see you outside Chelsea stadium?
You were looking through the bins.’

He looked embarrassed, ‘Oh no, anyway the way
they’re playing, even I might have a chance of getting a game!’

‘You always were a laugh Seamus;
anyway it must be terrible being homeless.

‘I’ll have to dash, I’ve got presents to buy at Harrods, then I’m off to Scotland for the new year.

‘I’m hoping to shoot a few pheasants.’                                                             

Seamus said, ‘Of course, don’t let me hold
you up at Christmas time.

‘After all, it is the season of goodwill and
shopping for last-minute presents!’ 

Then he picked up his guitar, and sang,
‘Buddy, can you spare a dime?’