Worse Things Happen at Sea

 

I knew my love would grow and grow,

When I saw her on that pedalo.

Calves of steel and thighs so mighty,

She soon became my Aphrodite.

A bow wave heralded that craft,

Powered by an enormous aft.

Swimmers scrambled in disbelief,

As from her tsunami they sought relief.

The fast-approaching beach prepared for landing,

And then I started understanding,

The sense of urgency and lightning speed.

It seemed my goddess was in need.

Today’s paella had a disastrous effect,

Her digestive system, it had wrecked.

Its inevitable path toward the exit,

Was about to leave her paddling in …

Her indulgence in the local cuisine

Had nobbled my new-crowned Queen.

Nothing about this voyage had gone as planned,

And she had to offload her cargo in the sand.

I offered my help to cover any mess,

As her predicament had caused distress.

Her shining knight I had become,

And we used my towel to cover her bum.