“Life begins at 40”

Read it on a gift card

Said it could be naughty

So I tried very hard

My job was driving me nuts

Wanted control of my steering wheel

Went for a foundation degree

Needed to set my wings free

Without the aid of red bull

Did all my study after my tea

Swan Vesta matches pierced my eye lids

Felt like I’d signed up for 3 degrees

Those precious moments

I hope I don’t see you again

Passed my degree at the end of the course

Really enjoyed it, I was really inter-courses

I joined – THE MANAGEMENT

I was a spritely 44

Then some bugger kneecapped me

Blew this future away

Got myself this ‘happenin’ Parkinson’s gig

Spare me a cig

 I’m staring at empty beer bottles

Man they plied me with the drugs

Ropinerol, Selegolene

The scene is heavy man

You should see my hallucinations

Those giant bugs!

Far out; whoa; crazy man

I got to draw the line somewhere

Got so many pills, I got shares in Boots

I got so many pills

The NHS comes to me for supplies

I get thank you letters from Gordon Brown

For saving the health service money

Been off sick so many times

My missis gives me so many jobs

I go to work for a rest

Work, gives this body so much pain

24/7 you know what I’m sayin

It’s like having your own underground

The trains take the pain

Well I’m three year into this Parky business

My brains turning to Chemical Soup

I am not worried though

I heard that Heinz are interested

They now want 58 varieties

Works put me out to pastures new

Retired me on ill health grounds

Like some poor old stallion

Anyway I’m off now

To shag another mare