Oh god I’m gonna go blind

My god I’m gonna go blind
The growing pains
A teenage urge
Is to be revealed and refined
For the first time tonight
My strong hand has automatically
Become directed between
I have corrected the technique
13 years are about to unleash
a one way ticket
to a whole load of trouble

man is about to get me in a whole load of trouble

for life

I have artfully, craftily found
The lingerie pages of
mums mail order catalogue
I think he was called peter craig
I have systematically removed them
Created my own catalogue
The oldest trick in the book
Under the mattress
Mounds of flesh in lace
I create a shrine to the see thru
The raylon, draylon, nylon
The absence of silicon
Purity in those days
I love it
I respond to it
The colour and fabric
The nipple and plastic
Clips and hooks
The innocent pearly looks
Of those seventies girls
under mattress
Thinking no way they’ll ever be found
It’s the only safe place I have

I had no idea mum makes the bed
Was I trying to send a beacon up
Saying “look what I like Mummy”

And next page 3
Oh yes give it me
(thank you Daily Mirror)
(thank you Linda Lusardi I wish to eat my dinner off of you)
(thank you future Sunday Sport – we were too austere 79)
You boobed babes!
I command you and I am only 13 ½ years of age
Oh my god
The anticipation
Of the turning page
That one stuck
From the previous eruption
Enraged
May I ?
May I introduce my favourite glue
find your skin
In this fantasy world
A globule
Of white ink
but don’t make us go blind
guilt a huge machine
guilt a killer queen of me
instilled by the prudish
yet ironic
we all got born
from the same sexual cocktail tonic
so why
why the speck in the eye weeps
when I stash porn under sheets
guilt only knows

don’t make me bad for being a bloke
do not forge the future mould
or shatter the fragile yoke
of development
through guilt

footsteps up the stair
light off, hide!
private bit to one side
Until silence, turn
night-time reading with a torch
cant be good for the eyes.

Perhaps that’s what they meant.