I was walking in the mist through Bolton market. A man bigger than me pushed past me. Neither of us aplogized.

"Aren't ya gunna say sorry?" he hollered. His face was pure war. Bigger than earlier.

"Okay I'm sorry.......I'm sorry that your bald and ugly." I said. He punched me in the smile. I fell. He went to walk away. I jumped up.

"Hey you prick, you punch like a nun." I shouted.

"What?"

"C'mon Gandhi lets dance like pandas" I called. He came at me again. I grappled him onto some turnips.

As we resurfaced my head struck  his face perfectly. His legs failed. His body gave way to the ground.

The people all watched.

"I WAS JUST TRYING TO BRING BACK GRAVY TO THE SHOP." I shouted at them.

"I DONT LIKE ONION FLAVOURED GRAVY FOR FUCKS SAKE."

An Asian man sat me down by his till and tissued my nose then passed me a spliff.

A beautiful girl from the rug stall came over with thinned mascara.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Shit babe look at you, can I have your number?"

"No."

"Okay then dya wanna buy some gravy?"