He had it coming don't you know?

He deserved everything he got.

The bastard shouldn't have done it;

all the way into town I'd had to go.

She'd gone on and on and made a fuss;

to shut her up I got on the bus,

i even took a shopping list;

her sister's coming with the kids.

Just get some of those fancy cakes,

the ones with icing and a cherry on top,

with cream and jam middles

and sugared rose petals,

you know, something a bit special.

 

So I'm sat there, going home, on the bus,

double seat to myself, a bit of a plus.

Didn't want to plonk them on the floor

kicked around or sliding about in the grime,

So I put the bag on the empty seat,

and I look out of the window to pass time.

Something catches my eye, a movement close by,

and there he is, the little scrote,

with his hand in my carrier bag.

So I go for him, grab him by the throat

and shove him hard away the slag.

He starts to mither and to shout

and yeah, I yell too, thieving little shit,

and push him against the side, bus stops,

door opens and out he drops.

Stupid little bastard gets back on,

telling me to look at what I've done.

He's got a bit of a cut and there's blood,

keeps coming at me though, asking for more,

so this time I hit him and he hits the floor.

I give him a kick to make sure he stays down,

then there's police and I'm taken down town

and nobody got those cakes in the end.