midnight
I smell candles
nipped.
Tweaked into smoke
by tawny fingers.
I see a coathanger of stars
as Leo crouches.
Midnight.
A mist sneaks in.
A distant roundabout is lost
on the horizon.
Comments
This has a nice ambiance.
I like these lines...
'I see a coathanger of stars
as Leo crouches.'
'A distant roundabout is lost
on the horizon.'
Thanks guys. I would have liked to add a bit more but it was my description of last evening and I thought writing about getting me hot water bottle ready didn't quite cut it! Mind you, my fingers aren't tawny - that was poetic licence!
<Deleted User> (7212)
Sun 29th May 2011 16:27
you're at it again.... writing great poems.
I never saw the first version & wanted more of this.... but maybe Greg is right - luv it anyway.
This poem has been shortened since I first looked at it, Ann. I believe it's all the better for it. Enigmatic, draws you in. "Coathanger of stars" is wonderful.
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Cynthia Buell Thomas
Sun 29th May 2011 17:45
It's fabulous, Ann, brief and beautiful. You sure are blessed to see stars; I miss them terribly.