AN UNCOUTH CASE OF TIMING
(As the the first Gulf war ended (before the smoke had
even died down) a minister popped up on television
bleating about lucrative repair contracts)
Down in the gulf the war was finished
(A blink and it might have all been missed)
Saadam was sad and quite diminished
As out in the desert the victors kissed.
In Paradise the Ancient Valour
Looked forward with a grave delight
To pro-and-con it in Vallhalla
That coming friday`s `Viking Night`
(Stonewall Jackson -sword on hip -
Smirked a furtive smile to Lee,
While Saladin`s sardonic lip
Scorned the un-equal weaponry)
But the immediate demand
Was a proper reverence for the dead
As Odin bid each warrior stand,
Respectfully, and bare his head.
This done, the all suppressed their views
And sat in quiet conversation.
Till someone said, `turn on the news,
Switch it to the British station`
And- lo!-on the celestial tele,
In that icy manner -all his own,
Was cold-eyed, thin-lipped, flax-haired Lilley
Addressing the financiers moan.
`Of course!` his ministry had planned
(Feareful of foreseen destruction)
Talks (already!) were well in hand
On contracts for the reconstruction.
While he thus reassured the banks
Thick profits soon would ooze again,
On the road to Basra twisted tanks
Crushed inextricable, mangled men.
God! the slain were not yet buried,
Some of the wounded not quite dead,
In crawling masses flies were serried
Black on festering, putrid heads.
The Ancient Valour, shocked, disgusted,
Uttered one long,communal moan,
While (shamed) the British military mustered
To make their feelings swiftly known
And over the ministry, broken hearted,
Hurriedly crude (but appropriate - fit)
Alfred pissed and Nelson farted,
Wellington vomited...(Cromwell shit).