Our Father

The confusion started

One day in idyllic late 1970s southern England

At a Catholic infant school

The sinister Mrs Williams might have been to blame

Maybe the fact I can't recall her name

Is just one of the symptoms

Of the possible primary consequences of converting handedness

(That of memory disorders) 

"Inclined to be be slow" 

On a steep incline

As for the possible secondaries 

(I 'mastered' joined-up at secondary)

They include disorders in the personality profile,

Shyness and introversion

That teacher may be partially responsible for this attempt at a prose / poem

Defiance to belligerence and braggadocio

The pencil is mightier than the pen and sword

When taken from the left and put in the right hand

Dr. Johanna Sattler's research states that the conversion of handedness drives people 

To continually use at least 30% more energy to mobilize their intelligence

In formulating and expressing thoughts and 

In recollecting learned material

In writing and speaking

(I'm still trying to establish the veracity of these claims)

So that's possibly why 

I won't try to memorise this

And recite it at a poetry night

Still reaching with the right

Feelings of inferiority to

"Hail Mary! He's quite contrary"

The lord of his oppositional and provocational manor

Poor co-ordination of the shift

What's right?

It's wrong

What's right is not left

What's left is not quite right

My right to be left alone

As I always told my counsellor

Whatever the problem is

(Was

Or will be)

It is always someone (or something) else's fault

World without end

Amen

 

*This poem only paints a picture of the negative consequences of forcing someone to change their 'natural' handedness.