Dear Diary Part 1 © by Nima Stone ©

Dear Diary ©........

I thought I was smart,
I thought I was tough.
Thought I was a solider, guess not that much.
My mum says she loves me.
I didn't really feel it.
My mum says she will protect me.
I didn't really see it.
She's been on the pipe for a few years now.
She can't cope, our home is breaking down.
At night I can hear raindrops on my window pane.
She's not well, I have myself to blame.
I am trapped now , like a caged bird,
I just wanna sing.
Why won't my voice be heard?
At times I feel like a mannequin.
So one day I decided to leave.
I just need some space,
Some time to breathe.
This was the hardest thing for me to do.
My mum's suffering,
If only you knew.
I walked out the door.
I didn't look back.
Who knew my relationship with her would crack?
I couldn't handle it, couldn't handle the fact,
My mum is on drugs, she can't come off.
How hard is that?
I walked the pavings looking for a place to stay.
Tear stains mark my face,
Endured by all the pain.
Should I go back? Should I help my mum?
I never thought this day would come.
Whilst walking the streets I overcome with fear.
I have no idea, where I'll sleep tonight.
Looked around- no place in sight.
At last I see a night bus.
I guess this is where I'll sleep.
Emotions coming over me.
I am definitely in too deep.
I am feeling uncomfortable.
Surrounded by people I do not know.
It's got me thinking of my mum again,
Thinking of our time, way back when.
So a guy sits next to me on the bus.
I look around, I can not fuss.
He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a bag.
Inside lay something my mum always has.