It is the spice of life
The tingle on your tongue
The flavour that excites
And rights culinary wrongs
So if your chilli isn't red hot
And your goulash is ghastly
If your vegetable samosas

Taste like persil pasties
Then you might find it expedient
To use a magic ingredient

It put hairs on my chest

And a jaunt in my walk

Made my taste buds bloom

Put a feast on my fork

So enhance your existence

Get some gastronomic glee

Make every sensation

Delicious liberty

The Chinese call it gourmet powder

And it goes quite well in clam chowder

Sprinkle it on chips

Spread it on your toast

Serve it in a mound

With your Sunday roast

Make every meal a triumph

Every snack a winner

Have superlative suppers

And dynamic dinners

Refuse to let a tin in your Supermarket trolley

If the label reveals the manufacturers folly

 

So if your kebabs are kaput
And your Wiener Schnitzel’s vile
If your salsa’s been abandoned
In the fridge for a while
If your poppadom’s pathetic
And your tikka tastes like mud
If your flaky puff pastry
Is like laminated wood

Forget the cookery books and masterchefs

They're just a big con

Get your kicks on route E621

Alright mate
Love and hate
Real estate
Parking rate
Kiss me kate
Roller skates
China plates
Lead weights
Cheese to grate
Resigned to fate
Get down to weight
Blind date
Monosodium
Monosodium
Monosodium

Glutamate

It’s a flavour enhancer