SPANKING PADDLE SNAIL

I know a guy who works in the power station shovelling coal into the big fat hungry generator to light up the local towns and cities with the light we all take for granted.

In his spare time he likes to dress as a snail and be spanked with a large alloy-spanking paddle till his snail shell is black and blue. He once nailed his bollox to a board and got arrested by the cops when this made the local papers, it’s fun he retorted defending his fun with a nail gun and his balls. Come and try it!

He got his fetish for snails when he went to France and tried the local cuisine getting a real kick when their shells cracked in his teeth. He ate slugs but it wasn’t the same, they had no shells to hide in when they were sulking. One day at work his bitch of a boss told him off so he brought his snail outfit in the next day and told her to fuck off! She opened her mouth to complain when he pissed on the floor, her face went red in rage so he quickly got changed into his snail suit and hid in his shell.

Nothing she said or did would bring him out of his shell, he had 300 cans of beer, twenty-five naked dancing girls and half a million-baby snails to eat tucked up in his shell he was here for the duration being a snail to piss his boss off. She brought his spanking paddle from his locker and spanked his shell but it had no effect but to turn him on, covering her floor with mucus till she stopped. There was no way to shift numb nuts the snail from his new home down by the boilers in the old dirty power station once his place of work. Now home to the biggest laziest snail in the world.

His boss does ponder, should she join him snug in his shell?