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Weeds

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                                         WEEDS

 

“Quietly amazing, when she allows herself to be”,

an early epitaph written

while we are all still here,

“seems such a waste otherwise”.

 

When asked for memories

I have a day of hot sun and wasps,

an image from behind,

picking vaguely at garden things,

straw hat for a head.

 

Peacefully anonymous, blending into the border,

a wash of bright red, watercolour poppy heads,

a blurring of charcoal lines

with a smudged third finger,

lawn of moss and dead-headed catkins discarded,

beds a struggle of competing colour. 

 

Somewhere deep, she wanted to plan

and landscape the plot,

yet never had time.

She was loved for this subtle chaos

but didn’t know it.

“Learn to like weeds”, she would say,

“they are just flowers growing in the wrong place”.

 

Comments

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 14th Apr 2012 14:12

This is a good poem with a fine theme. For myself, I found stanza 1 a poem in itself, and not really essential to the 'gardening imagery' of the other three stanzas, the crux of your idea. In stanza 3, I suggest a little reworking of adjectives (or elimination of some) eg. 'a wash of watercolour poppies' and substituting another word for 'colour' in the final line. Your diction has captured a sympathetic portrait and a great mood. Always with respect.

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andrew barnes

Wed 4th Apr 2012 16:43

Thanks for comments Laura- interested in the view around the "flow" of the poem- I'm conscious of the "free" rather than structured form in this one, and also of a deliberate repetition of the word "head" (eg Hat for a head, dead-headed, poppy heads)which sometimes I think works and adds to the poem and other times I feel might be a bit clumsy-
I'd be interested in further views if you have them.

Cheers

Andrew

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Laura Taylor

Tue 3rd Apr 2012 10:03

Really like this - doesn't always 'flow' very smoothly, but some lovely images in there. Catkins! Not heard people use that word since I was a kid!

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andrew barnes

Mon 2nd Apr 2012 19:15

Thanks for the comments Nick- "melancholy" certainly sums it up .
Andrew

<Deleted User> (10123)

Mon 2nd Apr 2012 18:02

'memories' + 'an image from behind' and her words in past tense lend the thought that the gardener is no longer tending? Bright coloured imagery of a piece that bears a deep melancholy feel. Ta muchly, Nick.

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