Ann Foxglove

Waiting for Maxim . . .

by Ann Foxglove

Wednesday 16th May 2012 9:36 am (first posted Sunday 6th May 2012 8:13 pm)

There’s a roman statue in the garden

steps sweeping down to a dewy lawn

tables, napkin-laid for tea

and I am waiting for Maxim de Winter…

We would never have stayed in this place.

Haversacked and anoraked,

peering over the wooden palings

unkempt windswept back packers

noses pressed to the sweetshop window.

Now here I am again, wondering

how would it be having cocktails

in that sedate conservatory?

Cut glass, a pink bud blushing in a vase

waiting for Maxim de Winter…

Yet I know I would rather be with you

outside, perched on a misty rock

at end of day

with flask and sandwiches for two.

◄ our bench

nothing... ►

Comments

shadwell smith

Wed 6th Jun 2012 13:25

You're welcome to it.

Ann Foxglove

Tue 5th Jun 2012 21:59

Thanks for reading, Shadwell. I appreciate the feedback.

shadwell smith

Tue 5th Jun 2012 15:34

I enjoyed the mannered feel of the poem, leading in to that lovely denouement on the rock. I wonder, however, if you really need the MAXIM – NOT MAXIM – MAXIM – NOT MAXIM structure. Not too keen on "haversacked and anoraked" – seems a little bit too ‘poetry’ to my ear. I’d even go so far as to question whether you really need S2 at all. Its removal gives your ending more impact, I think, although I do like the ‘noses pressed to the sweetshop window’ line.

"at end of day" – do people really talk like that?

Just my thoughts. I liked this very much – I really did.

Ann Foxglove

Wed 16th May 2012 09:37

Thanks all - I have made a few changes (tho not to the audio - too lazy!) Changed the title too. Ta for the advice. xx

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 15th May 2012 18:10

I like the imagination in this. Thanks for the info. I do have one suggestion. In the 3rd stanza, last line, consider repetition of 'waiting for Maxim de Winter' (very intriguing, well worth emphasising) and drop the repeat 'table setting' idea. IMO, the 'pink bud' line is sufficient reminder.

Lynn Dye

Thu 10th May 2012 21:54

I really like this, Ann, reminded me of reading Rebecca some years ago, and I admire the descriptions and contrasts you portray. xx

Ann Foxglove

Thu 10th May 2012 15:08

Thanks both of you. Maxin de Winter is the not really very nice hero in the Daphne du Maurier book Rebecca. The Housel Bay Hotel has a du Maurier feel to it (from the outside anyway, I've never been inside.) It's on the Lizard where I've just spent a couple of weeks. M de W was my idea of a smoothy kind of guy, and I could imagine meeting such a chap in this rather 1930s oppulance - but would be happier camping with a thermos flask (and a nicer chap)I'm sure :)

Noetic-fret!

Mon 7th May 2012 22:00

Nice one Ann, a woman after mine own heart. I too, would rather be on a crag, or by a cairn atop a high peak, with sandwiches and flask for two.

Brilliant.

Mike

x

Graham Sherwood

Mon 7th May 2012 15:04

And how much is afternoon tea?

Graham Sherwood

Mon 7th May 2012 15:03

Ann I liked this a lot but it felt a bit untidy to me.
I hate suggesting changes but it seems as if the lines have been exchanged somewhat (lines 2 and 3 would be better transposed etc).

I love the idea of it and its overall charm. Who is Maxim de Winter?

Regards,

Graham

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