As I was waiting to see my blood specialist yesterday, I decided rather than read a four-year-old, half-eaten copy of Prima, I would write some poems instead and this is what I came up with:

 

Nine To Five To Kick Out Time

 

That’s it

It’s all over

The music’s stopped

The bar’s run dry

Once again the crowds spill out

Squinting and shouting as they stagger by streetlamps

To which the heaviest drinkers cling

Or push past the cloud of smokers

Crowding the doors

Puffing and stubbing and moaning

About the cold and the change in the law

It’s shoved them outside to contend with flocks

That break off and scatter

In twos and threes and fours

Lads like stags shoulder charge

And invite potential fights

The lass who spent the entire night

Crying and clutching on to the ladies’ sinks

Now blubbs on the curb

While her girls

Stumble in stilettos

And tell her ‘He ain’t worth it

And those mascara tears now smeared

On your new TopShop skirt

Will all come off

In a boil wash.’

Those at one with God

Stand on corners

Around their feet lies

A good night’s out detritus

Dimps and flyers and snapped off heels

And bottles from lagers shoved up sleeves

Their plaques remind sinners that they’ve sinned tonight

But they knew that

As they go home with some random bloke

Down a swift donner and puke in the street

That’s it

Fun’s over

Eyes run dry

Time to return

To life

To real life

To nine to five

To storing up reasons

To get pissed up and fight

To cheat down back streets

And to sleep soundly beneath a stranger’s filthy sheets

 

 

 

 

NEW SHOES

 

I’ll wear new shoes today

And stride a mile in another’s gait

My borrowed steps will be perfectly placed

On those yielding streets

I will stomp with a stole purpose

And swing arms no longer weighed down

By stony fists

But why stop there?

I could plasticate, sculpt and shape

Slap it on all over my face

Affect a foreign accent

And drape my frame in designer fakes

Create some exotic back story

I’m a writer after all

And walk tall

In my new form

I will walk tall