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from beginning, end and back again (repost)

I felt this may benefit from an audio, so I attempted to read it. I have to say I found it a challange.



I held your hand in times of pain
We fought together with me the feathered mane
And you the painted lips and beauty
Every male craned
In every room
Attention waned
and the boys all swooned
And eyes became upon you
And so it became
In a sitting game of courtship
I came to learn your every favourite thing
wild as wilder
And beasts of lovers bring
the rolling under cotton sheet
Pure memories weave and melt the sleet
And park grass shuttled we love to meet
On cartwheel marched our shuffled feet
and its fiery heat shined
As we celebrated our love
Unleashed ourselves on desire
like fireworks light the passionate pyre
you rang out
a vestule crier
wrote it down in memories
So young
the clarions called us invincible
But with flesh only the temporary guest
On earth’s crust we clung
on fragile lips our purses hung
filled with jewels
we should protest and live forever
was never to be
As cells divided unequally
Within your precious forms
And rogues were sent to take you
So by bedside I find myself
With you beside
The creeping elves
I ask not why they came
For every minute passing by
Is one more with you
And leaving with one last loving look
The sweat of your brow
Takes me back to
That loving brook
where toe tip took us
as you laughing shook
water from a dress
That summer afternoon
dimpled chin of yours I touched
As you lay on white with a heartbeat crutch
Slipping away
The caring now so ever much
For no one wanted you to leave
But alas it must be
And you clenched my hand
In your eyes you hoped id understand
To meet again in future worlds
 into smoke filled room we both be hurled
head first but with toe tips curled
you with fragility of my fighting fist
to defend the memory
of some morning missed
A platform kiss
Something incredible
Romantic
in future frantic, I usher it on.
Looking forward to be beside
to be free of the things that now reside
within cells whom multiply
with dignity die
From beginning, end and back again
I didn’t thing you’d ever leave
Or to greet the day
upon darkness grieve
When this world has one less of you

◄ these things I despise

The Wonderful World Of Oh Lenora ►

Comments

darren thomas

Tue 6th Jan 2009 14:16

Hi Pete - I ran out of superlatives a long time ago. I enjoy your work (you know that anyway) and we share our advice over beer. You know what I drink...

<Deleted User> (5646)

Tue 6th Jan 2009 12:32

I liked this better read Pete.
I did have a picture in my minds eye of you standing on the stage with your arms open and upright stance. Bardesque is the word which springs to mind.
( i remember mentioning this once before to you though with a few others.)
Janet.x

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Chris Dawson

Tue 6th Jan 2009 11:13

Yup - had own (talk) show for BBC CWR. But the bit I was showing of with was the RSC voice coach - lol.
Difficult to do workshops online but I'll give it some thought and put together some exercises that may or may not help, certainly won't harm. It'll take me a few days to get some material together.
Cx

Pete Crompton

Tue 6th Jan 2009 10:49

Hi Nabila!
thanks for your comments, I'll be improving all the time with all this help! thanx

Hey CJ! wow wow I never realised you worked with radio, yes I would love advice on speaking, and I do normally try and warm up, I did 3 takes fo this poem, I can do fast stuff if you look back at 'tacky falaracky'

Ok all great

thank you girls for the feedback today
most appreciated.

Love
Pete
x

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Chris Dawson

Tue 6th Jan 2009 09:30

I don't want to interfere with anybody's natural style or interpretation but I am an ex BBC radio presenter, have taught adult returners to C&G in media studies (training for presentation), and my voice training has been with the second best voice coach in the world - Andrew Wade (when he took me on about 8years ago he was head of voice at the RSC and only took one other private pupil). So what I'm trying to say is - I know a bit about voice, and about recording voice - if you feel you'd like any 'tips' or training exercises please feel free to ask.
Having said that - I thought it worked beautifully, and I liked the soft intimate style. My only criticism woul be it sounded like you hadn't really warmed up beforehand - just try a few tongue twisters to get your mouth and tongue freed up - then you don't trip over your own words.
Cx

<Deleted User>

Tue 6th Jan 2009 09:16

Wow Pete! This is amazing. You really do have a skill with words and keep it up. All your work flows in a natural rhythm and beat and I look forward to hearing this one live.

Just the usual response - I think break it up a bit but don't lose any of it.

Keep writing

Pete Crompton

Tue 6th Jan 2009 01:30

Hi Chris,
first of all thank you for taking the time to read and listen.
It means a great deal to me what you do.

Well it was a challenge because the poem needs a gentle touch, whilst I find moaning easy, being gentle is natural but more personal and hidden within me.

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Chris Dawson

Tue 6th Jan 2009 01:13

I found this very moving first time around, liked it better read. Why did you find it a challenge?
Cx

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