IMPATIENT SPRINGTIME
Impatient springtime
caressing the shore line
under a watercolour sky,
gentle white tipped
blue waves with breezes
blowing in our ears
whispering of warmth,
teasing us to put away
colder morning memories,
urging the shedding of
woollen scarves and the
lengthening of dog leads.
Copyright(c)David Subacchi.2012
I liked this a month ago. Sorry I did not say so then.
Thank you so much for such kind and thorough feedback Chris.
Really appreciated.
David
This has a lovely flow to it David, a flow that has an essence and movement that is beautifully reflective of the subject matter.
Like the compound rhyme of springtime - shore line.
Your imagery is excellent - watercolour sky ensures the rest of the poem has a dreamy impressionistic feel to it.
Especially so with what follows and;
gentle white tipped
blue waves with breezes
White tipped - makes me think of the tip of the painters brush.
I didn't so much 'think' of the time of the year as 'feel it'. The way you do on a Sunny day when the clouds roll out the way :)
teasing us to put away
colder morning memories
That's a nice way of considering what weather does for our mood. Sadness, depression even are well-known to be exacerbated by dark and gloomy weather. Weather has rightly become used in analogies to suggest difficult times, from dark doom laden skies to impending storm clouds. And spring weather does indeed hint or 'tease' as to what is to come. Good weather, your poem hints at better times too, spring being that time for hope and renewal.
urging the shedding of
woollen scarves and the
lengthening of dog leads.
This too has a feeling of the painted rather than literal about it.
A lovely poem - great images - very enjoyable.
My best
Chris
Thanks very much Nick.
David
<Deleted User> (10123)
Wed 20th Mar 2013 13:04
Tis good stuff you bless us with these fine 'at times confused' Winter - Spring - Summer - Autumn mornings. ta muchly, Nick.
You can find more of my poetry including some videos by searching on SUBACCHI+POET
If you wish to post a comment you must login.
This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.
David Subacchi
Sat 20th Apr 2013 17:46
Thanks for taking the time to give me feedback Cynthia.
David