‘For tea,’ she said, ‘I’m making something
using the Jamie Oliver book.’
My saliva glands flowed as I wondered
what verbal confections she’d cook.

Consommé of contents
simile soup
verb vol-au-vents
liververse on toast
summary sentence salad
pages en croûte
pan-fried paragraphs with refried nouns
filleted phrases with mixed metaphors
grilled grammar with colon coulis
tetrameters of tripe with mushy prose
quotation quiche with minced words
steamed stanzas with mashed metres
sorbet of syntax
cold compôte of conditional clauses
publisher pudding
footnote fool
creme catalogue

or just
    alphabeti     spaghetti