Emily Loved Him

 

Every time that bloody child finds

Some bit of old crap on the street,

It’s “Bagpuss! Big Fat Hairy Catpuss!”

As if I’m some giant pink oracle –

Who the hell told her that I have

The answer to everything anyway?

I’m perfectly happy dozing in my

Sepia toned world, but she keeps

Thrusting me into colour.

Wake up! Wake up! For pity’s sake,

Wouldn’t you spend most of your time

Asleep if you had to listen, day in, day out

To the splintery annunciations of

Professor bloody Yaffle?

Every time I have a thought, there it is;

Large as life inside a giant bubble –

My every private thought revealed

For all the world to see;

I can’t keep anything to myself.

A cat surrounded by mice he can’t eat,

A toad with a permanent frog in its throat

And a doll who I wish would’nt be

So sensible and moralistic. I think

Her curls must be wound too tight.

Besides, there’s no need to be so personal.

I’m not fat. I’m just big boned.