Only I am responsible, for the things I have done.

Only I am to blame, for that love now gone.

Ruined dreams, and broken hearts along the way.

Not content with one love, I had to stray.

Sometimes not knowing, what I had done.

Consumed by Vodka, and its friend fun.

Until years later, when my mind was clear.

Realising what I had destroyed, I should have realised then.

Too much drinking, to much fun, at the expense of others.

Crushing, and walking over lives, that I had just discovered.

Relationships gone, before I even know they were there.

However, I was never alone, my best friend Vodka was still there.

So many good women, I wish I could have back.

However, my friend drink, and I said goodbye to that.

I hurt them so, now I must pay the price for loneliness.

Broken homes, torn romances and a career I call a mess

Why I am still alive, after all I have put my body through.

Maybe there is good in me, a quest in life, I have to do.

I should be dead, I guess there are many, and who wish I were.

I should be in the ground by now, a hopeless cause lost.

Wives and soul mates just clouded memories gone.

I was weak like a wounded dog, but unlike me, they were strong.

Police cells and courtrooms, were my second home.

Now those days are gone, the child has grown.

Nightclubs, pubs, lace curtain drinking.

I look back now in fear, what then was I thinking?

Losing my identity, I can show you, what real shit looks like.

Now no longer blinded, by the demon that once gripped me.

I can bask in the sunshine of life, and soak in all its rays.

Even so, redemption lives within me, for the rest of my days.

(Photography by Gary Peters)