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'Sahara'

entry picture

 

I learnt much from you, which only began when you left me.

The trails and tribulations of 1oving did nothing for you regrettably.

You took so much from me, which was my fault; I was too blind to see.

Everything that I possessed did not really mean that much too me.

The only thing that I wanted to keep was my emotionally sanity.

But you took that too, leaving me shallow and empty.

 

With only myself to blame, with only myself to care for.

I wanted to walk with you in open fields, to be as one forever.

I needed your companionship, throughout the days and years to follow.

But some things I have found are not quite as they seem.

To find the signs and the answers is not an easy thing to do.

To ask those questions but I wait endlessly in vain.                                    

 

Promises broken trust taken away, from a dream I thought would never die.

When I thought that I had found love, when I drank from your pool.              

You had the solutions to all of my demons, the powers in your possession.

So cruel can love be, so true can one be a fool for another’s love.

Drawn into your heart like a moth to a flame, emotions burnt beyond recognition.

Our history reads like a dark tale of medieval doom, with no hope of revolt.

 

 

(Photography by Gary Peters) 

 

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Comments

<Deleted User>

Mon 13th Apr 2009 21:07

A few people on here are kindly looking at my short stories and I offer the same by email - just offering if you prefer that to blogs sometimes : )

Hope you're well and tc

<Deleted User>

Mon 13th Apr 2009 20:53

Hi there

Sorry for late feedback . you asked me to look at this . I think it needs trimming and sharpening in the same way as your other one, but more of it is needed here. eg

Everything that I possessed did not really mean that much too me

focus and take out the vague expressions. Add images or talk about specific things that will help the reader engage. It is more of a lament at the moment ? Is that what you intended?

'drank from your pool ' is a fine eg where u use metaphor and some others work well too espin last verse.

Hope this helps : )

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