Belloc rewrites Sredni Vashtar
ELAINE DE ROPP
Who loved to thwart children
and was sacrificed to a polecat-god
A woman named ELAINE DE ROPP
Believed in knowing when to stop;
In being careful to be quite
Respectable and Good and Right,
And Decent, Upright, Free from Sin,
Unlike her cousin Conradin.
He rarely did as he was told.
For Conradin was ten years old,
And as is good for girls and boys
Was fond of Laughter, fond of Noise,
Fond of Pretending, fond of Play,
Which irked her more than I can say.
If he should fail to Brush his Hair,
Or climbed too loudly on the stair,
Disturb her after-dinner peace,
Or brush against the Mantlepiece,
Or Shout Too Loud, or Speak Too Low,
She'd punish him like Billy-Ho
For breaking of the slightest rule--
A habit of the very cruel.
I fear it formed her Chiefest Joy
To thwart the actions of the boy,
As may be seen, for instance, when
He found and kept a Houdan hen,
And then at breakfast-time was told
His pet was gone; the hen was sold.
She wondered then if he would get
Another sort of secret pet,
And by this wondering was led
To venture to the Garden Shed.
She did not know that Conradin
Would worship at the shrine therein
A Polecat-God of Ancient Fame;
And SREDNI VASHTAR was his Name.
She hears a sound. She turns her head.
His Teeth are White. His Thoughts are Red.
He does not heed his victim's prayer:
O Sredni Vashtar, Great and Fair!
And as her lifeblood drains away,
The child that lately knelt to pray,
Who cares about this case the most
Smiles quietly, and makes the toast.
(With thanks to Kit for the idea.)
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Sat 23rd Aug 2014 16:58
Blooming brilliant. Such a varied repertoire of experience and exposure - mostly, I hope, in fiction and film. You are really funny.