Tall tales told on barstools

Are often dangerous

To those who tell them

As to those who pretend to listen

 

Tall tales told that won’t stand up

On their own

Needing supporting

Oohs and aahs

And gratified applause

 

Tall tales told

By those who really should know better

 And hold as much water

As a holy French letter

 

Tall tales told

Of the one that got away

The bird or the fish

A hope or a wish

 

Tall tales told

Confounding and confusing

Often tiring and boring

But sometimes quite amusing

 

Tall tales told

Exaggerated stories

Of fading glories

Of victories that were in fact a rout

And soldiers whose hearts and stomachs

May not have been quite so stout

 

Tall tales told

Dusted down

Polished, smoothed

Ready to put into service

At a moment’s notice

Some parts added

Some parts forgotten

Others just down right

Misbegotten

 

Tall tales told

 By cousins or brothers

Flamboyant others

All begging pleading

 Wanting to be your lifelong friend

Telling you of their adventures

Of the dangers

Of meeting, sleeping or kissing with strangers

 

Telling you anything that will excite, arouse

Or gain your interest

Tipping you a not so subtle nudge and wink

They will tell you about anyone or anything

For the price of a drink

Where they have been

Where they haven’t been

What they have seen

What they have done

Who with and most of all whether it was fun

 

But all of this relies on those tall tale tellers

 Having the memory and the fortitude

To sit and not sway

To be able to stay

In one place on the stool

And still remain cool

 

Before gliding

 Gently,

Sedately,

 Elementally

 To a rest

And Consequentially

Falling asleep

Like a rude and

Uninvited guest