I hate over thinking. I hate staying up late in my room.. alone. The silence gets so loud. A million and one thoughts escape from the Pandora box inside of my mind. Clever enough to kill each and every one of my emotions. Brilliant enough to create more and more problems. Feeding off of my fears. Feeding off of insecurities. Feeding off of all my worries. I cant escape it. I cant run. Heart pounding. Eyes feeling heavy, burning from all the tears that are forming. Trying so hard to stop myself from screaming,

 

STOP!.

 

Im trying to hide yet im having no luck.

 Im silent. Trying to only focus on each and every heavy tear falling from my eyes.

Darkness surrounds me. Yet I can see all the places my tears have floated on.

Thoughts and troubles start to form. Same problems playing over and over again, going in circles.

I fight myself. Tossing and turning. Hoping for things to stop where they are. Trying to lighten my thoughts, brighten my night.

Nothingness. Pure bliss only lasts a few seconds, if any. That’s when my thoughts come rushing back, bigger, heavier then when it started. I try my best, I cant win.

 I lose myself in the dark cave my mind has created for me. I know my soul is tired. I can feel it broken and battered.

 It wins every time…

That Dark Deadly Silence that Consumes  me

almost every night.