Wandering around Marks and Spencer
Until you meet up on a blind date
For a pair of pants
To replace the ones
That you discover had
Blood staines on from
God knows when can
Be a thankless task.

Bumping into a work colleague
Who has been off sick
For ages and ages
And ages
And looks totally pissed off
Spending the next twenty minutes
Slagging off nearly everybody
Can be a thankless task,

You mate ringing you
He is about to leav
His wife of 12 years
For somebody 10 years younger
And has tits in his words
The size of a bridge
Can be a thankless task

Wondering what you will sa
And whether it will last longer
Than one of Big Mac Dave’s
Many dates at White City
In Jeremey Clarkson style hair
And a huge bikers jacket
When upon seeing him
After he got out of his car
She shouted out
‘You’ve got another fucking thing 
coming if I’m going out
with you looking like that’
and driving off
can be a thankless task.

Thankless in the clock watching
And listening to your heart beating
Until it gets to the stage
Where everytime a girl
With similar hair
Walks past
You wonder for a second
Is that her?

That her?

That her?

That her?

Flecked with the endless singing
Of a terrible busker
Who simply won’t shut up. 

(First in a series)