Self Control

 

i keep thinking about us and how things went unnoticed, like when i gave you my heart and how you would never hold it, shit i thought it was my fault we never were the closest, i just figured time would heal everything you weren’t showing like picturing me cheating on you reliving that moment. if i can go back to that day i would have been less faded off the weed off the drinks they would keep on making i would tell them to stop before my brain became vacant. are these my deepest thoughts or my relentless ways i keep thinking ill only have a couple more before my darkest day. the color black keeps showing every saturday i’m melting i saturate my spelling with that brown chemical my heads swelling. every time i see that sad face i think i can make her happy but step back please i’m too wacky she’ll just slap me saying don’t harass me i’m gone now be sappy. as i look in disgust its my luck as she slams the door shut i’m thinking fuck at around that time i’m thinking fuck why would a diamond wanna be with dust as i walk away the pain shows in my guts cause sometimes theres demons lurking beyond the cuts.

 

so self conscious but i still need self control i seem to let go everything that creeps close too many problems my heart beats slow so i keep rolled that marijuana smoke. ill blaze till my heart can raise id smoke all day if i could be productive but we all know once i hit it i get lost in it mary is so seductive. my mind plays tricks on me i lose sleep thinking about nothing i feel like i should text you and say something but my distant design keeps me bluffing do i care do i exist am i involved in your thoughts or am i just some dick you once kissed. i don’t know, lost in the mist finding happiness hasn’t been quick but ill keep waiting till i see it’s lips i wont hold my breathe though, cause i understand each dream has a step stone. do the stars over by your window look the same from my window questions surround my mental like were you really that special until i find the right mixture ill be so lost in her shes essential. so many things you have showed me i cant begin to relive all the beautiful facts you told me like how you said i love you baby your the only one that knows me well what the fuck happened cause now i’m so lonely you went with him i stuck to sin and kept releasing all this bad shit i held within.

 

chorus:

i just wanna be peaceful i see the angel to my demonic angles she tries to save me but i  resist cause im angry. i have so many holes in a heart once gold now thanks to these hoes it seemed to turn cold. i had so many memories with her undressing me now i’m by myself with these emotions possessing me. i need self control, before i let go.