one day all of this will be gone

I wonder if I will turn to dust
I wonder if the earth will consume me
one day all of this
this place,
this whole place,
everything will be gone.
just gone.
like  zero before birth,
so in death empty.
nothing.
memories.
photographs.
family.
friends.
old cards.
son, brother, lover
and friend
nothing.
photograph of my smile,
images you choose to remember ,
favourites.
the whole world,
the world I created
 compiled.
ceased.
Look at this body,
its beautiful
such celebration’s on being born
quick loved
in fast moving world
continues to spawn
all of us
so where do we go from here?
other worlds,
or zero?
Won’t know just yet
too early, yet the remaining
wont forget
for they held me as a memory
tightly gripped what was left
in desperation
I promise I never wished it to end
I am insignificant
I am a grain and a fragment
I am beached
I am stagnant in thought
yet I am everything
wondering why, where, what, who
I ever was, all I ever became
and I am sorry for you, the remaining
I ask you, let me go
for I wish not to restrain you
I wish not this life to hinder
all your strength mustered to hold me
yet against nature
rapid cometh the cinder
in fragile our human form
so precious the days when life yawns
another day of me
should have lived that day to the full
should have smiled to a stranger
not tugged or pulled at complaints
all those thoughts and ideas
the scribbles of plans
of holidays and seas
of lovers and pleas to live the eternity
of happiness
never happened, over so quick
the warning, not obligatory
it is just a guideline
every second is gold
an element precious
hoping you live every last
hoping the cast of me forms another
to be recycled, reborn
hope that there is something beyond
seems logical, yet so much unexplained
what lies ahead in the afterworld
and who was I anyway
the wake I leave
my ruptured seams
paves the way
for others
I am the elements
I am the carbon and water
my soul is elusive, I cannot hold it
and offer it for science and debate
I cannot show you the important things
its too late it seems
disappearing under the weight of the world
the inevitability of time
I think of love and all its immense power,
plead with it to reprieve me
but merciless the gods frown
they say “not this time”
I suppose I cannot be singled out
as special
else overpopulate our world
with romantics and the fearful
scared to leave, scared of death
scared to disappear, leaving nothing left
except ashes in the urns
that cannot be me
that jar, whilst evocatively painted
cannot be me
as surely as
the compound it comprises
and as surely as the next day rises
many wish that not to happen
ask the ashen faces to let go of it
for I’m just chemicals these days