I knew from the very first moment -

what I knew, I didn't really know in the moment

but a part of me just knew

and I knew he knew too.

Every part of my broken heart and aching body

seemed to scream it; 

the words breaking through my skin - 

dying to be heard.

But I was so afraid and he was so damaged

No one could know.

No one ever knew.

Not even him; 

and now it's too late

and even though he knew,

and even though he stills knows,

our knowledge is our demise -

I love him but if these thoughts shaped and twisted and grew into words -

I would die because my broken heart and dark sould knew I could never have him.