(This poem is dedicated to the select members of the S.A.S. .... Surfers Against Sewage)!

 

I’m just swimming in Portreath

Just going through the 'motions'

A large environmental car thief

Made of a thousand witches potions

 

I’ve streaming eyes and raspy throat

A throbbing head and aching ear

The only safe place is a boat

I’d never write “Wish you were here!”

 

The surf is up and roaring in

Seagulls squawking in the sky

Up to my waist and in the sea

I watch the Richards* floating by

 

This place reminds me of a chemist

With lots of poisons on a shelf

It won’t afford you no protection

But rather damage your good health

 

I watch a condom ride a wave

Then catch a tampon as it breaks

They both go rushing to the shore

Where children play in rock-pool lakes

 

I know that I will never see

The sea ’round here a slight shade bluer

But it’s the first time here for me

That I have swam in an open sewer

 

 

*=Richard the Third (Turd) – Cockney Rhyming Slang

 

(c) Daniel Dwyran