Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

Note: No profile exists for this entry - most likely it was deleted.

A MAN FOR SOME SEASONS.

Ragged flags of steam astir
atop the flats and office blocks
and sudden flurries chased about
like edgy Lilliputian flocks…

...underfoot and overall
the flattery of fulgent frost
and heat, by turns, a luxury
of ever-escalating cost...

...blanket upon blanket drawn
to chins in sanctuary beds,
and penetrating cold that renders
added layers mere shreds…

…slumbrous exhalations bleaching
blackened windows' colder edges;
fields revealing snow-blown wrecks
of ten-a-penny plastic sledges…

…flakes that coat my coat and cloak me
slowly in a sodden pelt;
idling through glowing summer
I forgot how winter felt.
 

◄ HARBOUR LIGHT.

THE SHUFFLING GAIT. ►

Comments

Travis Brow

Wed 26th Nov 2014 07:36

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. You might notice, should you look again, that i've made some alterations.
Cynthia, for the purposes of the poem, and in general i suppose, i pronounce 'idling' as 'i-d-ling' such that it has three syllables, although i slightly elide the d and the l.

Profile image

Gray Nicholls

Sat 22nd Nov 2014 15:41

very tightly wrote i felt. cynthia has beat me to a lot of what i was going to say, but i bet you can say this took you ages to write, well done as this is excellent

Profile image

Anthony Emmerson

Sat 22nd Nov 2014 11:10

I can't add much to what Cynthia has already said, but I did "feel" the contrast between hot and cold here. Well crafted, thoughtful and fresh. Enjoyed.

Regards,
A.E.

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 21st Nov 2014 16:33

I do like this. I admire the metronome effect - the unstoppable clock of the seasons, so to speak.Your rhythm is so excellent, I don't want to stumble, looking for a step. I wonder if we say 'idling' differently?

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message