Exes
the night outside
grows colder
he is sitting
listening to the shadows
move from room
to room
there are edges
along the corners
of the narrowing room
where the yellow
light of the lamp
does not touch
he is tracing
his memory
along the curve
of her wrist
outside
the snow falls
in separate time
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Fri 16th Jan 2015 12:30
Succinct and strong.
Would you consider the short, sharp 'he sits', cutting out one 'ing' ending after another, and so leaving space for 'he is tracing' which implies 'continued time' in a very poignant way? Just a thought because I really like the poem. It doesn't imply 'better'.