UNCONTROLABLE CIRCUMSTANCE
From my two hands life as I knew it was stripped,
There was nothing I could do nor a single word I could say,
With razor blades my whole body and mind was ripped,
It felt like I could handle no more on that day,
Patiently I'm waiting for my deep wounds to heal,
Using time to attempt creating some sort of new life plan,
Trying to expel all that's fake and keep all that's real,
Holding onto any positivity that I possibly can,
The scars that I now bare tell such a story,
Sometimes it's hard to not let old feelings creep and get
in the way,
I had to start learning how to search through the pain for the
glory,
Now I wake thanking God for the person I am today.
Jackie Phillips
Thu 15th Jan 2015 16:12
A very moving and thought provoking piece which took me back in time a little to when I wrote this:
Suicide
A creeping blackness of my very being.
Despondence, vacancy of heart.
Indifference of all once cherished.
Wanting to care,
And yet,
Not caring that I don't.
Empty of all save hollowness,
and contempt.
Self hatred my one redeemer.
I take hold of it and grimly cling,
Wretched, abject, abhorrence of soul.
I demand its presence but need its destruction.
How else to survive?
Why endure?
What significance in existence?
I give myself over to the null.
Mine lacks the final ray of light that yours has though I'm afraid.