It's not talked about

this monster that inhabits my body

monthly

 

though it whistles through ears;

shrieking out of every orifice

blotting.

 

People look shocked.

 

I'm at a loss with it, this

dark demon

haemorrhaging heavily all

happy thoughts, here

just a day before.

 

I've tried it all, surely -

shunting,

accepting,

'letting it be'.

But still I bleed

and it's not clotting -

 

this beast that feasts on me

'til I'm weak,

anaemic

 

unable to fend off

bloodless others

eager to purge themselves

periodically of

blind judgement,

ignorant self-righteousness.

 

A months’ worth of patience,

loving kindness,

no conditions -

this is my lot:

 

how dare you not be so sunny

how dare you let yourself be mad

be moody (for once)

eclipsed by this moon.

 

We expected more from you.