He machine  guns his speech

through a facial cluster

of almost eye level growth

 

I can't speak for him unfortunately

but I am getting pissed off

having to say

pardon?

what?

excuse me?

 

I look for the opening

where his mouth should be.

If there is a row of teeth

that have come out of hiding

between what must be the uplifted corners of his lips

then I know it is 'safe' to

just agreeably smile and nod my head.

 

When the whiskers don't part

and theres a solemn look in his eyes

peeping over the hairy hedge

thats when I simply shake my head and tut tut.

 

The easiest incoherences to deal with

is the one that builds into a high crescendo

followed by thundering laughter.

I am at that point able to have my conveniently drowned out revenge

by muttering under my breath

 

I do wish you would either

get that fucking forest off your face

or take elo-fucking-cution lessons asap!

 

of course I then respectfully

join in the roaring laughter

even though I don't know

what the fuck it is I am laughing at!

 

_____________________________________

 

© Stef Wilde 2015