Emotionally unstable?

Life becomes a series of two periods.

One where you feel good and life is great,

and one where every day is a bumpy ride on an emotional rollercoaster.

When on the verge of tears, it’s always a close call holding them back, not letting them fall.

 I discovered that when on the verge of tears,

I hold my breath in an attempt to wait it out.

Stupidly trying to wait out a storm, when I’m already standing outside with nowhere to hide.

As I wait, the heaving begins.

You could say it’s like the rumble of the storm, drawing nearer, louder, closer.

It comes in waves, like the rhythm and strength of an ocean tide.

One big push, a lull, a build up and then another push. Repeat.

Normally I try to hold it in as I walk deeper into the ocean tides, to bigger, stronger waves

 until it washes over me and I give in.

But this time, I tried to breathe.

Slowly inhale, then exhale. Repeat. Inhale, exhale.

Once I focus on my breathing, the tides calm, and it’s as calm as a lake.

Did I do it?

Did I beat it?

Am I better now?

.......Or am I simply numb?

Maybe the lake was still, but the lake was cold.

Maybe I grew comfortable in the cold.

All I know is that I feel almost cold inside.

Distant.

Maybe the waters were so cold, they froze me.

 Maybe what they froze were my feelings.

Trapped in ice, they stay; out of sight and secure.

But if the weather should warm, then I fear the ice will thaw and unleash all those feelings trapped inside. Unleash them to rush out into the world; fast and unstoppable.

Emotionally unstable.