I'm not really sure why I am still seing this boy, but I would rather pretend that he loves me than be alone. What we have, well you can call it a fling. Friends with benefits. Just pleasure? But it is certainly not love. Or that's what I thought at first. Spending more time with this boy made me realize how great of a person he is. He's so dumb that he's smart. He doesn't know he's smart, nor does he see himself as smart, but in my eyes he is the wisest person I know. He is eighteen, and I 16. The thoughts he shares with me while laying his head on my naked chest, make me fall in love. His mind fascinates me. I want to be his girlfriend, but all he wants is this. All he will ever want is this. I know if I continue this, it'll come to an end and I will end up being completely broken. But how can I walk away from this? From him? I am in love. It hurts to know he is not, but the company he gives me makes me feel I am worth something. I can't be alone. I can't leave this. This is sad as shit.