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December

Oh remember remember 

on the fith of December

when the snow fell cold 

and the man grew old 

yet a child had laughed

for the boy remained daft

and a mother weeps

all the while taking peeps 

the child lay dead 

for not ever fully fed

the snow kisses the ground

and somewhere two are bound

the air grows cold 

yet the boy is bold 

oh december 

is a month to remember

 

Cold December Days

Comments

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Nosidam

Tue 5th May 2015 01:23

I usually don't write with rhymes but I decided to give it a try. I agree with you that it holds it back, but I believe it fits for this one, for now. Thank you for your input.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Mon 4th May 2015 14:55

there is an interesting thread running through this piece but the obvious rhyming holds it back. I'd forget the rhymes and work on the theme as I'm sure you'll find something there. Look forward to reading some more from you some time. x

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