had this dream trying not to forget it so i'm writing it down you, me, and malinsky were driving down a country road. it was set up so two sort of realities were running at once. one where allan was driving in his bmw with me in the back and you riding shotgun, and another where we we were all standing in a loft somewhere, allan's foot on a pedal (the machine deadman switch from the wire machine at eecol, come to think of it), his back to a metaphysical window that simultaneously existed and did not exist as we all were present and observing the car driving down the road that night. he was playing a game of bravado, not looking at us driving with his foot on the pedal. there's a train crossing. i'm not too nervous, he's having fun and knows what he's doing, and I don't think it's gonna be close, but it sketches you out a bit. we laugh and get honked at from about a mile out. another train crossing happens about ten minutes later. allan's laughing about last time so he goes for it again. this one makes me really uncomfortable cause it's about a block out. Immediately there's another and I start screaming "allan, we are NOT going to make that one dude." so he hammers on the gas. "allan shit, that's not fucking funny man we're not gonna make it don't fucking do this ALLAN WHAT THE FUCK" the train gets closer and closer and I can feel mself in the seat, white knuckling my hands on the back of the seat, but he presses on and the train is literally in front of us. there's no stopping now, so he hammers on the gas still. then it goes real quiet and we watch ourselves start to crumple against the train, slowing down. I feel myself reaching for the phone back in the loft and in the car simultaneously (I'm in the same person) and gravity stops. back in the loft, I pull myself away from the windshield. I hear my finger hit the 'record' button on my phone and there's a moment of hyperlucidity. all of us are there, suspended in the air, looking at each other and I'm the only one who seems able to act despite all of us being aware that we're in this slowed-down state. i pull myself away, record everything, feel all of us being mutually aware, and I try to get as far away as I can, but I'm still in the car. then we wake up, and instead of allan, we're me. we're starting in the perspective of my day and are all aware of our roles in it and that it's our job and our opportunity to dodge whatever fate or compulsion caused us to crash. none of us are mad at allan. It's like we suddenly understand with clarity that it wasn't his fault. It was compulsion. so we go about my day pretty vanilla. no one even gets into a car. we end up down at a diner somewhere, at night. hear on the radio how three young men die in a collision at a train crossing. then we wake up and we're you. then I woke up.